Disproving Evolution Part 2

This is not why I do not believe in evolution. The reason why I do not believe in evolution is that I fail to see how life could have spontaneously begun in the first place. I also don't quite understand how multi-step metabolic and developmental processes could evolve when all the steps are required for the final product to work. In addition to that, it seems to me that life would have destroyed itself by now with viruses, overly successful species (like humans) or self replicating transposons if it had been around for so many millions of years. Right, and the relationship with God thing, that too.
But there is one more reason: bureaucracy. Bureaucracy bestows no advantage on our species whatsoever, yet here we are, and there is bureaucracy. Let me give an example:

I wished to get a refund for a class which I had taken. I deserved this refund because I had finished paying my tuition before I was charged for the class. Good so far. We like money. We seek money, and our evolution should give us ways to get money faster.
With this monetary gain in mind I headed for the financial office of the school and asked for the money. The worker behind the desk looked at me blankly, then asked why I deserved money. I paused, my highly evolved brain working as fast as it possibly could to defend against this danger. My heart rate sped up, my palms became sweaty, and my blood vessels constricted. All this was extremely annoying, and certainly didn't result in money. I tried to calm myself and walk through my logic so that I could explain it to the lesser life form before me. I had taken 17 credits this semester... yes, that was the first step in the logic, but why did that matter? I could not remember, and I began to panic again. I had taken 17 credits, so I deserved a reward! My highly evolved brain jumped to the end of the logic chain to get it's dopamine fix, then pulled itself back when it realized it's error. I had taken 17 credits... and I had taken 15 credits the previous semester! yes, that had something to do with it.
It finally came together. I had taken 15 credits the first semester and 17 the second, this added up to 32 (there's an evolved brain for you). Because it added up to 32, I should not be charged for the extra credit from the 17 credit semester. Instead, the money I had paid for the extra credit should be refunded to me as specified in the handbook under "32 credit policy".
The lower life form stared at me, her instinct based reaction system working like mad as she gazed at the "congrats grad" signs dangling from the ceiling. She tried to feign boredom like an opossum pretending to be dead. When this failed to make me leave, she gave her distress call in the hope that others of her herd would aid her. "I'll ask the head of the department" she said. My highly evolved brain and I congratulated each other.
The head of the department came to the front desk and looked at my file on the computer. After a few seconds he looked at me. His instincts told him to create a speech pattern which would delay the process, but he didn't understand the process enough to do so yet. He floundered for information, hoping to find a weakness. "Your bill is at zero" he said. I explained to him that my bill had nothing to do with the matter, I was here for a refund. I went through the entire chain of logic again, citing the 32 Credit Rule of the Most Holy Handbook, source of all bureaucratic knowledge. I hoped that this demonstration of my knowledge would convince him that I was the dominant male in this situation.
He shook his head. "I need to look over your file, come back at 3:00" he said. I had failed: he had called my bluff and asserted himself as the dominant male. I would now have to come back at 3:00 in an attempt to gain acceptance to the office herd.

I came back at 2:45

The head of the department shuffled a stack of papers in a threatening display of displeasure. My highly evolved brain and I gave up all hope. "I didn't get to your file, come back tomorrow" he said. I went out with my head hung low, this lower lifeform had completely demonstrated it's dominance over me.

I came back the next day

The head of the department came to the front desk smiling. My highly evolved fist tingled as my highly evolved sense of bullshit warned me of things to come. "We can't give you your refund until grades come out next week" said the department head. Don't bother comming in, just call us and we'll tell you if you can have it.

I came in the next week. "Ok, everything is just fine, just go down the hall to the payments window and they will give you a check for the refund" said the head. I went down the hall, and found the window closed. The office door was open, so I went inside. A lone student worker greeted my highly evolved bain and I with a sadistic smile. "How may I help you?" she asked. What she really meant to say was "How may I screw with your mind until you cry?" but it came out wrong. It must have, because she had no intention of helping.
"I need a check for this amount" I said, handing her the piece of paper which the head of the financial department had given me. She looked at it. "I don't know how to run the computer system, I'm sorry" she said. My highly evolved brain decided to act poor and pathetic. "I really need this money, it will be a significant financial hardship if I don't get it by the end of this week!" I said. Amazingly, this approach worked. The student worker immediately went and found someone who knew how to run the computer system (the person was in the next room over, so I understood her previous reluctance). I had my check within minutes.

See? how did any of this benefit the species? All that time the various members of the financial department could have been doing things which helped society, or at least been passing on their genes in one way or another. Instead, they slowed down the whole entire process for their own amusement. Next human trait that goes against the theory of evolution: being amused by the suffering of others.

Disproving evolution part 1

As I sat in church listening to the discussion around me a familiar feeling began to form in the pit of my stomach. It formed unbidden, arising from the deep primordial part of me that is always alert to the many forms of hot air. It was this feeling which shook me from the near comatose state which I had been in, and though I gave no change in expression or posture, I snapped to attention and concentrated on the words of the obese man behind me.
"All you have to do to disprove evolution is to look at the human eye" he said. It was the third time he had made the point, and it was starting to get on my nerves. "Darwin himself recanted his theory because he could not explain the human eye". My teeth clenched, not at the error of his statement, but at the tone with which he made it. I wanted desperately to argue with him, though I knew it would do no good.
The obese man continued. "If you take away any part of the eye, it will not work at all" he said. I raised my hand, an action which part of me found odd. I usually find myself arguing against evolution, not for it, but this man's logic was getting on my nerves.
I wanted to point out the fact that calling evolutionists stupid wasn't going to convert any of them, and that none of the people in the church really needed to hear these outdated arguments again. I wanted to say that we believed in God because of our relationships with him, and because of what he said in the Bible. At the same time, I wanted to give examples of creatures that make use of eyes which lack many parts (planarians with only eye-spots, mollusks with eye spots in pits, box jellies with eyespots in pits that have lenses over them, etc.)
I wanted to, but I didn't. Instead I gave an abbreviated version by saying that defeating evolutionists with their own findings wasn't going to work, and we should probably stick to spiritual things instead of trying to base our faith on anti-evolutionist theories which are often dis-proven. As I spoke one man said "amen!" in a tone that showed he was thinking about baseball. After that the group went back to assuring one another that evolution was a completely retarded theory that people only believed because they wanted to be evil. The logic reminds me of what evolutionists think about creationists, and it's almost as annoying.